The Impossible Garden
& The Wildforest
ART & STORIES BY MARICHIT GARCIA
I started today with a mind sweep. It eased my thoughts a bit to be rid of the constant nattering of too many random reminders. I wrote it all down on paper first. Then copied it all into my Evernote, organising and clustering the tasks as I go. My mind then takes a visual snapshot of it to carry around - a single organised chunk that will keep still and quiet and accessible.
I have some dayjob tasks to complete this week so that is putting on a bit of a heavy cloudy mood. My way to deal with it is not to push or force myself too much but just to flow slowly into it. Thus I'll be getting around to it in a very roundabout way, taking twice or thrice the time to finish.
I have to finish reading two more books to complete the Goodreads challenge. I am already 90+% done with one. I think I'll make it.
I'm running late on a hundred things. The season always does that to me and yet I never get used to it. I feel harassed. I get so tired I can't even sit up long enough to finish a chapter or an episode.
The writing keeps me relatively steady. That is why you've been seeing a lot of posts lately, even long ones. I escape into the blank page and try to put some sense of order and control in my days by weaving my thoughts and feelings into words. Lately there have been a lot of unexpected intense flashbacks. I suspect it is because something is indeed going to shift in a big way, and the past will even be farther into another life, and the sudden recollections are like goodbyes. They will have less power in the new story that will unfold, they have been spent.
On a positive note, I am able to paint again. I have been finding it difficult to settle in my too-dark, too-cramped studio. Perhaps today, to widen the circumference of that roundabout to the dayjob tasks I will find it a lesser evil to squint and contort my way into finishing an art piece or two.
I am planning to do one more decluttering minimalising move. I'll gamble a bit on having literally next to nothing while I wait for the resources to be able to fill in the essentials. I will live empty (or as empty as I have ever been), as one of the runes sometimes advised in order to ready my self, my selves, for a true abundance.