I have been channeling my creative energies to finding solutions and the perfect equation for my life's Golden Mean.
It is a good exercise that my two pages, Quests for Meaning (the dayjob page) and Ink & Water (the artist page) are able to define clear paths and differentiations from each other. While the creative instinct spills over the dayjob thinking, it is still translated into a distinct "functional" form but remains useful and a point of strength. I am pleased that the dayjob is beginning to find its own defining images and trains of thought that are actually interesting and engaging. I am also beginning to discover the potential connecting pathways between work and my dreamed-of way of life, possibilities of synchronising my work values and acts with my life values. It is going to be a very long task, because the way the world is built right now is contrary to almost everything I believe in or hope for. I have to be a seed of change, and that is always a risky thing to be.
This morning I was made to feel that my cause and crusade for a creative life and my hopes for changing the heart of the world through hope and art's inspiration are less worthy of support or less sensible to ask help for than something so obviously important, like a religious pilgrimage, for instance.
Anyway, I made myself get past that because I don't need the extra layer of discouragement and disbelief.
A client called this afternoon and there just might be a dayjob project that saves the month. I'll find out by early next week. Hence I put off my original plan of declaring Friday afternoon as the beginning of the weekend, and instead I worked single-mindedly on getting the proposal sent out within the day. As soon as I sent that proposal out, another client query came in and that's what I will be working on next Monday (there goes my no-Monday-work rule) so I can send out the proposal on Tuesday. This second one is a bid, I think. There are two other agencies sending in their proposals. Instead of being fired up to win, my response to bids is to relax because in my mind I don't participate in the contest. I just make the best proposal I can without consideration of whether the others might be giving discounts or throwing in extras. I stick to how I do things and let that stand. If I am meant to do it, it will be given to me.