I woke up late, because I slept late -- I did not check what time because I did not want to feel pressured about getting enough hours of sleep. But I progressed to 26% of Among Others by Jo Walton from 9%, right after finishing First You Have To Row A Little Boat by Richard Bode (which I gave 5 stars to in Goodreads).
My night dreams are back to the kind that feels like churning changes, the kind during which I wake up at odd intervals and catch sight of strange things moving about and things not looking like what they are supposed to. Whenever I have this kind of dreams I interpret them as signals of movements and shifts. When I wake up from such dreams I can feel an extra thrum of energy inside me. As if I have successfully tapped into the universal well and I can make more things happen than usual. Call it superstitious, it doesn't matter to me. It's one of the ways I work with life.
Today I revived my "learning journal" which has languished for many months because I needed to prioritise making money. But it has come to a point where I need the lessons of the learning journal (which I have named Greywaren, inspired by Maggie Stiefvater's book series The Raven Boys) to guide me to the next steps of where I want to go. Reading through Alain de Botton's The Book Of Life also made it imperative for me to write down my own notes and thoughts, and translating them into real actions that I can apply into my daily life.
You see, I am very particular about saying one thing and yet doing another. Sometimes it happens by ignorance. Sometimes by simple failure to practice due diligence.
In the course of my insistence to pursue a creative path I want to keep on making informed decisions. Even while I do a lot of leaps of faith, there is still an aspect to it that cannot be a blindness. In fact, I believe that the leap is made with open eyes, which is what makes it courageous. There is still responsibility, and there are consequences to every action, and exercising the freedom to do what I want does not mean the absence of accountability.
Clarity is also important to me, as much of it as possible given my limitations as myself and as a human being. Clarity helps me be steadfast and to be certain in the decisions I make, and keeps me strong in the midst of adversity. It is easier to weather trials and disappointments when it is clear to me what my values are, and what really matters.
On a totally different subject -- I checked the open garage and saw that a lot of work will have to be done to transform it into a true creative workspace. But the potential is there. Lots of daylight. Open air. Away from the house and TV noise.
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