So this is how it feels. I woke up yesterday, Monday morning, and spent the next eight hours working. Only it was work I have always wanted to do. I painted pieces for the summer art shop. Then I scanned and posted those pieces. Then I made announcements on social media, processed a few inquiries and orders, and before I knew it, the sun was ready to go to sleep.
When the moon was up I wrote. Coaxed a few poem seeds to sprout. Filled out my daily pages.
I was tired enough that when I went to bed at near midnight, the battle with insomnia was short. Then I had a complicated convoluted dream that had Benedict Cumberbatch and Hiroyuki Sanada in it.
Yesterday, to my utter surprise, I was able to finish eleven art pieces.
It all felt good. It all felt right. I was still scared and worried about whether I will sell enough to get me through the month of June but I am moving, and the movement reassures me. I am doing something, and the doing is something I love. I dream of the Tribe Gathering. I dream of him who is a story haunting the blank pages of my life, waiting to manifest. I dream of finally Becoming -- artist, poet, writer, agent of hope, beloved.
Almost as if on cue, I received an email today from a headhunter (a.k.a. recruitment agency). There is a big job looking for a person. And I know enough of myself and my skills that if I wanted it, I could get it. And if I choose to get it, I won't ever have to worry about money. Of course I know how this exchange goes. What gets left out. What gets risked.
It always happens. This test. This trick question.
I am tired of this question. And I am tired of always hesitating over what to answer. Of agonising over imagined consequences. Of guilt rearing its ever-ugly head.
None of the contents of this website and blog may be reproduced without consent from the author/owner.
Support This Artist With a One-Time Donation
Or pledge a monthly contribution from as low as $1
I am an artist-in-progress. I started my creative journey in 2012 and have never stopped taking steps since. Always one step at a time. Always moving forward. It has been an increasingly tough and occasionally rewarding road.
Models & Mentors
Emily W. Martin
That Curious Love of Green
The Dainty Squid
The School Of Life
Crafty Fun Kids by Sinead
David Beaver Art
Head Graffiti Studio
News From The Hill
Pretty Odd Peach
The Fiery Redhead
Upward Facing Blog
View From Zany Mountain
What Karen Did Next